Eyebrow Waxing is Essential...Well, Most of the Time Anyway

I starred in a play this past semester. Okay, so I had the smallest part in a play this past semester. And I had been letting my eyebrows grow in since, like May (very sexy). So of course they needed to be done. And I decided to wait an hour before opening night call time to get waxed, giving myself no time to choose who would wax me. I went to the jankiest spot on earth. These fools need to be arrested.

As I was sitting there in the waiting area I looked at the fish tank, which should be a very calm, positive experience right? No, I could barely see the damn fish the water was so nasty. They were swimming sooooo slow, I kid you not. And every single time they flicked their fins all of the residue and disgustingness from the tank would swish around. Big freakin' red flag.

So, I'm sitting and getting very scared, so I prayed. "Lord, please don't let me have to go to the hospital for an infection." And, you know, also tricking myself. "Well, the owners treat fish this way not people." Enough suspense already. I walk to the waxing room.

"What the fu...., I mean hell!" It's filthy! The little spot where the waxing equipment is, is sitting on top of a towel with little hairs all over it. I'm talking tons, not a few sparse hairs. Waxing sticks are supposed to be used only once. These summabeetches have used them at least thirty times, I mean, one was actually broken. As for the rest of the room mostly everything is just dusty...There's somebody's old prom shoe in the corner (only one, not the full set)... There's a set of chairs the owners have decided not to use, basically just a storage space. But damn it if the waxing space wasn't scary.

So, the chick proceeds to wax me. It felt like she wiped some sort of ointment on my eyebrows afterward, but I'm sure she didn't. That was just for show. Besides the fact that my brows aren't the shape I want them to be, she actually did decent job. The horror experience is over and I'm still alive (I can't help but give the helfa a dollar tip, curse this good heart).

I high-tailed it to the dollar store across the way. "Can you please tell me where to get Cotton balls and Witch Hazel" (an astringent, not a hex). Witch Hazel was a yes. No cotton balls, all sold out. 500 pack of q-tips, thank you Jesus!!! After waiting in line forever, because the chick that was in the front of the line decided to get 50 of everyting I make it to the car. Dip the q-tips in the bottle and rub until my skin almost comes off (yeah, that's a little gross, but I was finally cleansed.). Whew, Hallelujah. I think I'll make it.

So to make a long story even longer. I survived. No emergency room for me. In parting... If your eyebrows are even half way decent wait until you have at least 3 hours to mess around and find a clean professional to wax them. Or call a day ahead and make an appointment.

JB